Lessons I Learned This Year

Get a cat. They will help you learn that you can’t control everything. If they want to destroy your couch, they will. You will accept that they will, and you’ll love them anyway.

Don’t save his number with a picture of him until you’re both committed.

If it’s over, then it’s over. Delete the texts. Delete the pictures. Stop talking about them. Condition yourself to stop thinking about them.

Find a way to drink more water (or a way to make it easier to drink more water).

Expensive cleansers that are on your face for thirty seconds in the shower aren’t worth it. Invest in the products that sit on your face all day or all night.

You cannot “just” be friends with someone you love, used to love, or want to love (romantically). Don’t let someone “just” be friends with you if they love you, used to love you, or want to love you (romantically).

Empty promises are a form of emotional abuse. You deserve clarity that is grounded in truthful intention.

Self-sabotage looks different to everyone. Self-care looks different to everyone.

Don’t future-fake yourself. Get clarity on where others are coming from. Limerence is torture.

It is not always outright abuse that causes trauma and hinders your capacity to form meaningful, authentic relationships. Microaggressions add up just the same.